Football and Men

The Cowboys got into the playoffs, so this week, I wanted to find a place to watch the game, while doing my scoping. I thought this was a prime opportunity to go to the Iron Cactus...back to the Iron Cactus. We were supposed to go there week two, but as Jessica's World goes, it didn't work out that way. They have three stories with large TVs; it would be a perfect place to watch the game.

My sister, Jennifer, and I drive 45 minutes to get to Iron Cactus in downtown Dallas. There are a lot of one way streets in downtown, so it makes it more difficult and time consuming to find parking. I circle the Iron Cactus once, looking for parking, since there is only parking along the street. I didn't see any spaces, so I drive down the block and around it once. I keep thinking there is bound to be a parking space. I mean really? It's 2 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon. I drive around a few more times, and then I notice an empty metered space. There is a "V" on the meter, saying valet, and that you can't park there between Monday 10 a.m. and 3 a.m. on Sunday.

I continue driving around the block again, when it dawns on me that Sunday at 3 a.m. was this morning...and now it's 2 p.m. That means I can, in fact, park there. When I circle around again, someone is already parked there....Dang it! Welcome to Jesssica's World. I passed this parking space about seven times before I realized that Sunday at 3 a.m. meant I actually could park there.

I end up getting frustrated and impatient (which isn't unusual...seeing patience when driving is NOT one of my strengths) and park several blocks away from the Iron Cactus. Jennifer and I walk the distance. When we arrive we take a couple of pictures. We enter and are seated. The upstairs is closed, so they seat us downstairs in the small bar area.

I came to watch the game, but the only TVs they had were 13 inch, where the score and time remaining in the game were cut off. I wouldn't really be able to watch the game on such a small TV that I couldn't even make out what the players were doing or even which team was doing what.

We decide to leave and find another place to watch the game and scope. I just don't know where we are going to go. It took us a lot longer to find parking than we were even inside Iron Cactus. We walk towards the car and pass a sports bar. I open the door to walk in, when all I see are small square black tables (that look cheap and old) and a bunch of people crowded around them...it was a dive. I guess the first clue was the all painted black doors with graffiti like paintings on them.

We get to the car and head back towards home, while my mind starts spinning about where to go next. Irving, Grapevine...Oh, Las Colinas. There are several restaurants in the business district there.

As we walk into Champps Restaurant, a several people walk out the door, not noticing that we are trying to enter as well. When we finally make our way through the single door, the place is packed. There are about 15 large screen TVs with the game on, and people everywhere. Almost every table is taken, and the bar is standing room only.

We sit down, and I immediately start looking everywhere for where my man could possibly be. There are a few guys sitting together at a table in my view, yet I find none of them interesting. I stare over at the bar...but all I can see are men with women or older men trying to pick up younger women...not my type.

Jennifer and I order, just as the second game begins. As we wait for our food, I'm constantly glancing around to see if anyone catches my attention. It seems there are a lot of families or couples here. I'm so glad to see so many women into football. Our extremely nice waiter and I talk football for a while before our food arrives.

As we eat our food...I got a yummy french dip sandwich, my eyes don't notice anyone of interest. It's a little frustrating in a room full of people, that I can't find any intriguing men. I mean, it's great for those women who are with the men, but not great for me....Dang it! : )

As Jennifer and I leave, Jennifer takes a couple of pictures of me to show my readers and viewers where I go. A guy, probably about mid 40's, asks, "What are you guys doing?"...as if it matters what we are doing.

I reply, "Taking pictures."

He says, "Do you live here?"

I respond, "Yes."

He says, "It looks like you are waiting for a taxi."

He walks towards the door, then calls back, "I can take your picture if you want."

I don't want to inconvenience him, so I reply, "No, thank you."

He says, "I wasn't going to ask for your phone number or blood type. I'm capable of taking a picture."

Not believing he got this defense..and it never occurring to me that he would ask for our numbers, I respond, "Okay, that would be great, thank you."

He walks over, and I hand him my camera. As I put my arm around my sister and smile, I ask, "Can you please make sure you get the Champps sign in it?"

He rudely says, "DIFFICULT," as if getting the sign just makes picture taking that much harder...He is the one who volunteered after all.

I thank him as he walks away.

Jennifer and I get into a long conversation on the way back. DEEP THOUGHTS BY JESSICA....I thought I would share it with you.

First of all, the best way I've found to describe my search is When Harry Met Sally Meets The Bachelor. If you have seen When Harry Met Sally, it's about finding the perfect person for you, the timing of it, and falling in love. The Bachelor is a reality about picking the person and also about falling in love. This is my reality..but it is also yours. Everyone can do it...you don't have to spend a lot of money. I think you should be able to find your person without having to pay someone thousands of dollars..you can find the person yourself. If you are looking for your person, you can join me in finding yours, by going to similar places, that I go to, in your own search.

Some of you may wonder why I am doing this...why I'm choosing to be so proactive with finding my wish man...

I spent many years trying to figure out what I wanted to do in my career, what my passion was, and following my heart. I never thought when I was in my twenties that being 35, single, with no kids was even in the realm of possibilities for my life. I never sat back and thought, "What would happen if I turn 35, am not married, and still have no kids." I would have to be Negative Nancy to think this.

I always thought that through life...work, school, friends, just living my life that I would eventually meet someone...like many people do. But this isn't what happened. I didn't. And being 35 and wanting kids...I needed to start having them a few years ago. I know that birth defects start to increase...and yes, I finally just got to the point in my life that I was like, "What the heck...where is my man?"

For the last 10 or 15 years, living my life and whatever came along with that didn't produce my wish man...so I can't keep doing that (the same thing) and expect it to produce different results. So, with that in mind, I need to be proactive in finding him.

I think many people in a similar situation will be able to identify with me. People who are focused on their career don't tend to think..."What's going to happen if I never meet someone...and I reach mid thirties and I still haven't met someone." We all think we will meet someone, and that it will happen when we want it to happen. What if it doesn't?

Then, like me, you need to set out to make it happen. Sitting on the couch or going to the same places aren't going to produce different results. So, we have to try new or different things...go to other places or events. You never know.

So, keep your eyes and mind open. You never know when the person you've spent so much time looking for is standing right beside you. Don't get too caught up in your own life that you forget to look...or look around. He/She could be standing right before your eyes.