Why does it seem so easy for others to find love but so difficult when it comes to me? I look around at my friends and family. They met at work, the gym, school, or through friends. I mean, it doesn't seem like anyone has the difficulties in finding love as I do.
Take my friend, Marc, for instance. He gazed at his spouse from across the gym. They met up later that night and haven't been apart since. Why can't this happen to me..well besides the fact I don't go to the gym??
I mean, I haven't met anyone through work, and there is no possibilities even there. My friends are all married and don't know any good single guys. And I'm no longer in school, so that's out of the question. Everywhere I turn, people are in love.
So, what does that leave? Online dating??!! I'm trying that, and I'm still not having any luck. Not all the good ones are taken, I know there still has to be some great ones left. Where are they and how do I go about finding them?
It gets frustrating sometimes, realizing that love isn't as easy to find as you once thought it would be. I know, I know...it shouldn't be easy, especially considering he is going to be the one person I spend the rest of my life with. I guess I just wish I had more possibilities for finding him.
There are hundreds of ways to find him, so why can't I think of them? My success with online dating has not been success to say the least. It seems the ones I am interested in don't email me back, and the ones that are interested in me, I don't find appealing. It only takes one, I know...but I would just like better odds.
I have spent most of my adult life single, which has never bothered me...that is until now. I finally realized a couple of years ago that I do want to get married; I do want to have kids. And since I had that epiphany, it seems like I can't find any potential men.
I have always had high expectations when it comes to guys. I refuse to settle. In my twenties, I'm sure I went out with guys that I would never consider marrying, because I never thought about marriage back then. Now that I know I want that, other qualities play into the equation. For instance, he has to want kids. That is a deal breaker to me, especially since I'm 36. I can't wait a few years for him to decide if he wants kids...not that I want them right away (but I'll tell you about that another day).
You can also never underestimate the power of chemistry. He and I could have a ton of things in common, but if there is no spark in person, then it's not going anywhere. I don't just want to feel a spark; I want to feel the fire, the burning desire of just looking at him and thinking, "Gosh, he is so sexy."
I've only been in one long term relationship. Every other guy I went out with, I would go with for about a month, find a reason why it wouldn't work, and break it off. My one long term relationship ended about two years ago. And when it did, I finally knew what I had been missing with all my other "one month guys." I like coming home to someone, having him ask how my day was, and just lying on the couch with him. It's crazy to think how you don't think of these things when you are in the situation, and then one day you wake up and realize how much you miss the simple things.
It's not just about those things I miss, but it's about my finding the right person for me to enjoy those things with. I want to find someone who helps me be a better person, challenges me and my thoughts, lifts me up to higher levels, makes my sides hurt from laughing, appreciates and relishes my quirks, listens without judgements, and loves me for me, for he will get all that and more in return.
So, here's to a continues Looking for Love journey, because I know some how, some way, we will find each other. I'm just hoping it's sooner rather than later.
Showing posts with label where to find love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label where to find love. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Turning 36
I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. It is painful to admit, but it's the truth. So a few days before my 36th birthday without knowing where else to look, I decided to join an online dating website for the second time. I had joined about a year ago, with a few one time dates out of it but nothing more. I was a member for five months, then I got impatient with the process and stopped altogether.
I need to be more proactive if I'm going to find love before I turn 40. Let's admit it, I haven't had the most successful love life, and I've been an adult for half my life...so I need to go full force for these four years! In joining the online site this time, I decided I'm going to be more patient and give it more of a chance. After all, it only takes one person.
A week after I joined this time, I had a date. It's never a good sign when you see the person and you instantly think, "Can I turn back or is it too late?" Well, I decided to approach and try it, who knows what might happen, right?!
Well, I went to shake his hand and he stood up and hugged me. A little awkward to say the least.
I sat down, and immediately said something...so non-important, I can't even recall what it was.
The conversation was slow moving, which is never a good sign. Now, one of the things that I really liked about this guy is his adventurous side. He went biking in China, zip lining in Chile, etc. So I loved that aspect.
As he was telling me about his brother who lives in Japan, his left hand was on top of his right laying on the table. He was sitting straight up, with very little movement, almost like he was in an interview. Whereas I was leaning slightly back in my chair, relaxed, and a few hand movements here and there.
He spoke about a little about his travels (which I love to travel too) his adventures. So two things that I love that could be interesting weren't spoken about much.
He thoroughly answered my questions but had very few questions that he asked me. To me, if someone was interested, they would have a million questions to ask me...afterall, he doesn't know anything about me. If not, what's it going to be like in 5 years when we know everything about each other.
I felt like I was the interviewer so much that I stopped asking questions and thought, "I'm going to just wait to see how long it takes him to ask me something." Well, let's just say, it seemed like we sat there forever...although it might have only been a few minutes.
When I meet my "wish man" the conversation should flow smoothly...or at least flow.
The guy chose a loud place where the Cowboys were playing on TV. He said he didn't know it would be that loud. I caught myself watching the TV or watching the large table next to us.
When the food arrived, it took some of the pressure off the conversation...or lack of it. Yet, there was still uncomfortable silence. When we finished eating, he suggested we let some of the more "die hard" Cowboys fans have the table, and "We could take a walk." I was all to eager to agree to get up, although any girl in heels most likely doesn't want to go on a walk.
We walked around the area for about 10 minutes, then we walked in the parking garage. I told him, "You don't have to walk me to my car. Thank you again for dinner." We hugged bye and left. There won't be a second date.
There is really no accounting for chemistry. Someone can be "hot," but if there is no chemistry, it just won't work (although this guy in person wasn't "hot." Whereas, the person could be a little less good looking and if you have chemistry, that could make all the difference in the world. It's amazing how chemistry works...and it varies depending on the two people involved.
Here's to one man down, another to come...Now where is the next??
Oh, and let me just tell you..the ones I'm interested in on the site, aren't emailing me back. The guys that are emailing me are not any I am interested in...I mean they would be if I liked guys old enough to be my dad, twenty year olds, or non-attractive ones. I know he is out there...I just don't know where, but I'm not giving up! So, join me in my four year journey...hopefully, I'll find him before 4 years. Here's to wishful thinking!
I need to be more proactive if I'm going to find love before I turn 40. Let's admit it, I haven't had the most successful love life, and I've been an adult for half my life...so I need to go full force for these four years! In joining the online site this time, I decided I'm going to be more patient and give it more of a chance. After all, it only takes one person.
A week after I joined this time, I had a date. It's never a good sign when you see the person and you instantly think, "Can I turn back or is it too late?" Well, I decided to approach and try it, who knows what might happen, right?!
Well, I went to shake his hand and he stood up and hugged me. A little awkward to say the least.
I sat down, and immediately said something...so non-important, I can't even recall what it was.
The conversation was slow moving, which is never a good sign. Now, one of the things that I really liked about this guy is his adventurous side. He went biking in China, zip lining in Chile, etc. So I loved that aspect.
As he was telling me about his brother who lives in Japan, his left hand was on top of his right laying on the table. He was sitting straight up, with very little movement, almost like he was in an interview. Whereas I was leaning slightly back in my chair, relaxed, and a few hand movements here and there.
He spoke about a little about his travels (which I love to travel too) his adventures. So two things that I love that could be interesting weren't spoken about much.
He thoroughly answered my questions but had very few questions that he asked me. To me, if someone was interested, they would have a million questions to ask me...afterall, he doesn't know anything about me. If not, what's it going to be like in 5 years when we know everything about each other.
I felt like I was the interviewer so much that I stopped asking questions and thought, "I'm going to just wait to see how long it takes him to ask me something." Well, let's just say, it seemed like we sat there forever...although it might have only been a few minutes.
When I meet my "wish man" the conversation should flow smoothly...or at least flow.
The guy chose a loud place where the Cowboys were playing on TV. He said he didn't know it would be that loud. I caught myself watching the TV or watching the large table next to us.
When the food arrived, it took some of the pressure off the conversation...or lack of it. Yet, there was still uncomfortable silence. When we finished eating, he suggested we let some of the more "die hard" Cowboys fans have the table, and "We could take a walk." I was all to eager to agree to get up, although any girl in heels most likely doesn't want to go on a walk.
We walked around the area for about 10 minutes, then we walked in the parking garage. I told him, "You don't have to walk me to my car. Thank you again for dinner." We hugged bye and left. There won't be a second date.
There is really no accounting for chemistry. Someone can be "hot," but if there is no chemistry, it just won't work (although this guy in person wasn't "hot." Whereas, the person could be a little less good looking and if you have chemistry, that could make all the difference in the world. It's amazing how chemistry works...and it varies depending on the two people involved.
Here's to one man down, another to come...Now where is the next??
Oh, and let me just tell you..the ones I'm interested in on the site, aren't emailing me back. The guys that are emailing me are not any I am interested in...I mean they would be if I liked guys old enough to be my dad, twenty year olds, or non-attractive ones. I know he is out there...I just don't know where, but I'm not giving up! So, join me in my four year journey...hopefully, I'll find him before 4 years. Here's to wishful thinking!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Monday, December 21, 2009
I'M IN LOVE!
I know, none of us thought it would be happen so fast, but I must admit, it did...I'm in love! So, this week, with Christmas just around the corner, I decided to take some time out for myself and go to a movie...finally!
My sister and I, dressed casually, went to see AVATAR. I had high expectations of this movie. Usually when this happens, I am let down...I hate expecting much out of movies, because I find they rarely live up the hype. As usual, I was running on time, which in movie time, was running late. This is the opening weekend of Avatar, and I should have known it would be packed. And it was! Jennifer and I were lucky to find two seats together, literally.
Of course the two seats were by these guys. I chose to sit next to the guy and give my sister the seat next to the lady. Well, there were some dumb looking movie previews, and the oversize middle aged nose blowing man next to me kept laughing at those. I would lead over and whisper to my sister, "That movie looks stupid," just in time to hear the man next to me say, "Oh, I gotta see that movie." It became a comical joke, so I would look at my sister and laugh. I mean he would say it only to the movies that looked so stupid they were supposed to be funny. I guess they have to make their money from someone, right??!!
Now, AVATAR....was a spectacular masterpiece! And James Cameron (writer, producer and director of Avatar) has an amazingly imaginative mind. The main character Jake, played by Sam Worthington who also played in Terminator Salvation, was not only physically appealing but he tore at my heart strings. The touching moments he shared with the main girl character Neytiri, played by Zoe Saldana, were beyond moving.
This movie had it all...action, suspense, love, battle...I never expected to fall in love, so when it happened I was caught by surprise. If you plan on seeing the movie, you may want to think before reading any further. Jake is wheelchair bound as a human, so giving a go at the world of Avatar is a great opportunity for him. His life comes alive when he is Jakesully, the blue character. His legs work...he can walk, run, and jump.
He is sent to Avatar on a mission, to help the humans learn the insides and outs of Avatar, so they can better attack it. When Jake gets stranded in Avatar he meets Neytiri, who saves his life. Neytiri is then ordered to train jakesully in the ways of Avatar, and jakesully fully trusts her. Their bond grows, and they become friends. After 3 months, jakesully finishes his training and can choose a woman who must also choose him. Neytiri turns her back to jakesully and suggests a couple of women to him. Neytiri's head is slightly tilted, as Jakesully says, "I have already chosen mine." Jakesully finds her eyes, and she says, "I choose you too." The tender touching, the look in their eyes, and the unspoken feelings, at this moment, literally brought tears to my eyes. They knew they were meant for each other. This is the moment that every woman dreams of happening to them. The exact second you know the two of you are in love...it is an unspoken moment between the two of you....you know there is nothing more, nothing greater, and no one else! At this moment, the rest of the world ceases to exist.
And in this moment, I fell in love! Okay, so I'm in love with a larger than human, blue character who has a long braid and tail from Avatar, but stranger things have happen...right??!!!
Jakesully didn't know when he set out on his mission that he was going to fall in love. He didn't know what was in store for him, but he was willing to do it anyways. Jakesully was not afraid to admit he wasn't familiar with his surroundings and let a female teach him a thing or two, and he was able to challenge her as well. He was rich in spirit and mind...his unwavering determination and confidence guided 2,000 warriors. When he succeeded in this, he had the power of the people. His perseverance was staggering..never giving up...and he knew his journey wasn't an easy one. He was willing to put forth any amount of effort to follow his heart. I want this kind of man. I know he has to be out there!! But where??
I know it's going to be hard for men, but if they follow their heart, then success is inevitable. I know it's a lot for men to have to feel like they need to live up to jakesully, but it should just be a starting point. Afterall, he is not real...and they are.
I guess this just keeps building my expectations for men....and people wonder why I'm still single! I know HE is out there. I'm still on the lookout and prowling! I'm not giving up, because like jakesully, I am tenacious, if nothing else. I refuse to believe that he doesn't exist.
You likely won't hear from me until after Christmas, so have a wonderful Christmas....and I hope your prowlin' days have been more successful than mine.
I may end up in unfamiliar surroundings, like jakesully, there for some other reason. Or it may not happen when or where I want it to.... but in time, I know it will happen! My wish man is out there somewhere, wondering where his wish woman is...Well, HERE I AM, HERE I AM, HERE I AM!
My sister and I, dressed casually, went to see AVATAR. I had high expectations of this movie. Usually when this happens, I am let down...I hate expecting much out of movies, because I find they rarely live up the hype. As usual, I was running on time, which in movie time, was running late. This is the opening weekend of Avatar, and I should have known it would be packed. And it was! Jennifer and I were lucky to find two seats together, literally.
Of course the two seats were by these guys. I chose to sit next to the guy and give my sister the seat next to the lady. Well, there were some dumb looking movie previews, and the oversize middle aged nose blowing man next to me kept laughing at those. I would lead over and whisper to my sister, "That movie looks stupid," just in time to hear the man next to me say, "Oh, I gotta see that movie." It became a comical joke, so I would look at my sister and laugh. I mean he would say it only to the movies that looked so stupid they were supposed to be funny. I guess they have to make their money from someone, right??!!
Now, AVATAR....was a spectacular masterpiece! And James Cameron (writer, producer and director of Avatar) has an amazingly imaginative mind. The main character Jake, played by Sam Worthington who also played in Terminator Salvation, was not only physically appealing but he tore at my heart strings. The touching moments he shared with the main girl character Neytiri, played by Zoe Saldana, were beyond moving.
This movie had it all...action, suspense, love, battle...I never expected to fall in love, so when it happened I was caught by surprise. If you plan on seeing the movie, you may want to think before reading any further. Jake is wheelchair bound as a human, so giving a go at the world of Avatar is a great opportunity for him. His life comes alive when he is Jakesully, the blue character. His legs work...he can walk, run, and jump.
He is sent to Avatar on a mission, to help the humans learn the insides and outs of Avatar, so they can better attack it. When Jake gets stranded in Avatar he meets Neytiri, who saves his life. Neytiri is then ordered to train jakesully in the ways of Avatar, and jakesully fully trusts her. Their bond grows, and they become friends. After 3 months, jakesully finishes his training and can choose a woman who must also choose him. Neytiri turns her back to jakesully and suggests a couple of women to him. Neytiri's head is slightly tilted, as Jakesully says, "I have already chosen mine." Jakesully finds her eyes, and she says, "I choose you too." The tender touching, the look in their eyes, and the unspoken feelings, at this moment, literally brought tears to my eyes. They knew they were meant for each other. This is the moment that every woman dreams of happening to them. The exact second you know the two of you are in love...it is an unspoken moment between the two of you....you know there is nothing more, nothing greater, and no one else! At this moment, the rest of the world ceases to exist.
And in this moment, I fell in love! Okay, so I'm in love with a larger than human, blue character who has a long braid and tail from Avatar, but stranger things have happen...right??!!!
Jakesully didn't know when he set out on his mission that he was going to fall in love. He didn't know what was in store for him, but he was willing to do it anyways. Jakesully was not afraid to admit he wasn't familiar with his surroundings and let a female teach him a thing or two, and he was able to challenge her as well. He was rich in spirit and mind...his unwavering determination and confidence guided 2,000 warriors. When he succeeded in this, he had the power of the people. His perseverance was staggering..never giving up...and he knew his journey wasn't an easy one. He was willing to put forth any amount of effort to follow his heart. I want this kind of man. I know he has to be out there!! But where??
I know it's going to be hard for men, but if they follow their heart, then success is inevitable. I know it's a lot for men to have to feel like they need to live up to jakesully, but it should just be a starting point. Afterall, he is not real...and they are.
I guess this just keeps building my expectations for men....and people wonder why I'm still single! I know HE is out there. I'm still on the lookout and prowling! I'm not giving up, because like jakesully, I am tenacious, if nothing else. I refuse to believe that he doesn't exist.
You likely won't hear from me until after Christmas, so have a wonderful Christmas....and I hope your prowlin' days have been more successful than mine.
I may end up in unfamiliar surroundings, like jakesully, there for some other reason. Or it may not happen when or where I want it to.... but in time, I know it will happen! My wish man is out there somewhere, wondering where his wish woman is...Well, HERE I AM, HERE I AM, HERE I AM!
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