The Easy Way

Why does it seem so easy for others to find love but so difficult when it comes to me? I look around at my friends and family. They met at work, the gym, school, or through friends. I mean, it doesn't seem like anyone has the difficulties in finding love as I do.

Take my friend, Marc, for instance. He gazed at his spouse from across the gym. They met up later that night and haven't been apart since. Why can't this happen to me..well besides the fact I don't go to the gym??

I mean, I haven't met anyone through work, and there is no possibilities even there. My friends are all married and don't know any good single guys. And I'm no longer in school, so that's out of the question. Everywhere I turn, people are in love.

So, what does that leave? Online dating??!! I'm trying that, and I'm still not having any luck. Not all the good ones are taken, I know there still has to be some great ones left. Where are they and how do I go about finding them?

It gets frustrating sometimes, realizing that love isn't as easy to find as you once thought it would be. I know, I know...it shouldn't be easy, especially considering he is going to be the one person I spend the rest of my life with. I guess I just wish I had more possibilities for finding him.

There are hundreds of ways to find him, so why can't I think of them? My success with online dating has not been success to say the least. It seems the ones I am interested in don't email me back, and the ones that are interested in me, I don't find appealing. It only takes one, I know...but I would just like better odds.

I have spent most of my adult life single, which has never bothered me...that is until now. I finally realized a couple of years ago that I do want to get married; I do want to have kids. And since I had that epiphany, it seems like I can't find any potential men.

I have always had high expectations when it comes to guys. I refuse to settle. In my twenties, I'm sure I went out with guys that I would never consider marrying, because I never thought about marriage back then. Now that I know I want that, other qualities play into the equation. For instance, he has to want kids. That is a deal breaker to me, especially since I'm 36. I can't wait a few years for him to decide if he wants kids...not that I want them right away (but I'll tell you about that another day).

You can also never underestimate the power of chemistry. He and I could have a ton of things in common, but if there is no spark in person, then it's not going anywhere. I don't just want to feel a spark; I want to feel the fire, the burning desire of just looking at him and thinking, "Gosh, he is so sexy."

I've only been in one long term relationship. Every other guy I went out with, I would go with for about a month, find a reason why it wouldn't work, and break it off. My one long term relationship ended about two years ago. And when it did, I finally knew what I had been missing with all my other "one month guys." I like coming home to someone, having him ask how my day was, and just lying on the couch with him. It's crazy to think how you don't think of these things when you are in the situation, and then one day you wake up and realize how much you miss the simple things.

It's not just about those things I miss, but it's about my finding the right person for me to enjoy those things with. I want to find someone who helps me be a better person, challenges me and my thoughts, lifts me up to higher levels, makes my sides hurt from laughing, appreciates and relishes my quirks, listens without judgements, and loves me for me, for he will get all that and more in return.

So, here's to a continues Looking for Love journey, because I know some how, some way, we will find each other. I'm just hoping it's sooner rather than later.